The Patient Underwent a Baloney Amputation

Here are a few tasty medical malaprops, courtesy of a transcriptionist friend.

Paramedics were called and he appeared to be pulseless and nonverbal.

Patient has minimal facial grimace in the upper and lower extremities.

He plans to go swimming in the Caribbean, looking for a sunken Spanish gold bullion carrying Spanish galleon.

After testing for adequate anesthesia and waiting a few more months for that to take effect, the procedure was begun.

Mild dementia related to his prostatism (parkinsonism).

We got descent of the maternal buttocks, but we did not get descent of the fetal head.

The patient is undergoing hysterectomy by Dr. ______ who has had ongoing incontinence for several years.

The patient states he is tired of breathing.

The patient underwent a baloney amputation. (below knee)